Flying Lesson
by Sailor Coruscant
Summary: After the greatest federal disaster of her young life, Lois decides to spend a night doing some serious thinking... Then, in a parallel story, Clark also decides to deal with the events of Lois' disaster in his own way...
1. Flying Lesson

_Author's Notes: This was written in response to a one-hour challenge: "One of your 'Couple' gets dead drunk, thinks they are Superman and attempts to fly off a five story building!" It was easy enough to imagine actually writting for this in the Lois and Clark universe and this story was born. I really don't normally approve of alcohol, especially not in large quantities, so please, no one behave like Lois does in this story. I care about my readers too much to find out that they got drunk and believed themselves a superhero. _

**Flying Lesson**

Lois Lane was depressed. Truly, deeply, spiritually depressed. She had never known anything as painful as this. First, she'd realised that she couldn't get married to a man she didn't love while she was confused about a man she may indeed love. Then she'd broken off her wedding to Lex Luthor, at the altar, telling him that she couldn't go through with their marriage. Then, before anyone had a chance to even realise what she'd said, the police had arrived to arrest Lex, he'd thrown himself off a building and Superman hadn't arrived to catch her ex-fiancé. Then, just when she thought things were starting to look up, what with the rebirth of the Daily Planet, Clark took back his declaration of love for her, stating that he'd only said such a thing to keep her from Luthor.   
And to top it off, Lois hadn't seen Superman in a week. Of course, she was still mad at him for rejecting her, and the other hurtful things he had said, but the least he could have done was come and checked to see if she was all right. Even Clark had done that.   
Clark. Lois was so miserable about Clark and the fact that he'd taken back what he'd said. Actually, no. That wasn't it. She was miserable because he'd lied to her, and she hated liars more than anything else on this planet. Claude had been a liar, and the same with all her previous boyfriends.   
All of a sudden, Lois began to wonder why she had ever even considered thinking of Clark as anything more than an acquaintance. That was what he was: an acquaintance. A work buddy, someone she bounced ideas off and had fights with about him editing her copy. Someone who would quite happily sit around all night with her at her apartment eating pizza and helping her finish off their next award-winning piece of journalism. Someone who would not only anticipate her moods, but conquer them.   
Lois sighed again. Clark Kent was more than just the Farmboy she had thought he was, and he was certainly more than just an acquaintance. Clark was her best friend, and she loved him, in her own way.   
And so it came to pass that Lois Lane was depressed, sitting at home in the dark, watching her favourite (well, her only) soap opera and thinking horrible thoughts about how miserable she was.   
When the final credits started to roll, Lois turned the television off and walked into the kitchen, seeking something to distract her. As she had expected, there were a few snacks in the fridge, but not much else. She had been planning to move into Lex's penthouse, and so hadn't thought she would need any more groceries. And despite the fact that it had been a week since the wedding disaster, Lois couldn't bring herself to find the energy to go for food, especially considering how terrible her cooking skills were. Ordered-in takeout was good enough for her.   
But there, on a shelf at the back of the refrigerator, nicely chilled and ready for her enjoyment, was that bottle of champagne Lois had bought to celebrate her engagement to Lex. She'd never gotten around to drinking it before, and it really did seem to bring back a few too many painful memories. After all, she had had to dip into her savings to buy such an expensive bottle of wine, and it wasn't as if she'd ended up marrying the billionaire who could have replaced that money without a second thought.   
So, gingerly, Lois removed the bottle from the fridge and opened it, searching quickly through her cupboards to find a champagne flute. Failing to discover one easily (they must have still been in one of the boxes she hadn't as yet unpacked), Lois grabbed a normal milk glass instead, and filled it with the bubbling liquid. She walked over to the window she normally left open for Superman and sighed in the direction of the night sky.   
"Here's to you, Lex", she said, taking a small sip, "For making me feel like my only worth as a person was to be possessed by you." Feeling suddenly inconsolable, she blinked back a handful of tears and downed the rest of the glass. It really was good champagne, she managed to note, even as a tear escaped her control and slid down her cheek.   
Grabbing the bottle, Lois poured herself another drink. Once again, she raised it to the sky, thinking up an appropriate toast. "Here's to you, Superman", she said, wishing he was here to hear this, "For thinking me shallow enough to only love you for your powers."   
She drank again, enjoying the taste of the bubbles in her mouth. A few went up her nose, causing her to giggle. Right, she had one more guy to toast. The bottle was looking a little worse for wear, but Lois had no intention of wasting any of this quality drink.   
"And to you, Clark", she whispered to the sky, ignoring the suddenly dizzy feeling that was sweeping over her, "For letting me believe you really did love me." Openly weeping now, Lois polished off her drink.   
"Here's to the three men in my life and the federal disasters they represent." Not bothering with the glass, Lois took a swig from the bottle, only to be interrupted by a knock on her door.   
Wiping a frumpy sleave across her face, but not letting go of the bottle, Lois made her way to the door. She was not really surprised to see Clark standing on her doorstep. "What do you want?" She demanded in a petulant tone.   
"I came to see if you were alright, Lois." There he was again, trying to take control of her life by pretending to be her friend. Well, she didn't need him and his just wanting to be friends, he had lied to her and that was unforgivable.   
"I'm fine", Lois pushed past him, headed for the roof. "I just want some fresh air."   
"Lois, you're crying", he stated it in that simple manner of his that always drove her wild.   
"So what?" she screamed, "My ex-fiancé is dead, the guy I love doesn't love me back and Superman thinks me nothing but a flighty blonde. So, I'm crying. Big deal." She stomped towards the staircase and it was relieved when her hand grabbed hold of the banister to pull her up to the roof.   
Clark just stood there for a moment, looking stunned. Lois wasn't surprised, Clark never understood her. He could sometimes anticipate her, but that didn't mean he understood. Her dizzy brain was able to pick the moment exactly when he noticed the bottle of alcohol in her hand.   
"You're drinking", his tone was flat, uncomprehending. She turned at a flight of stairs and disappeared from his sight.   
Lois took another swig at the bottle, only to notice that it was empty. "Nope", she shouted, throwing the bottle over her shoulder, "I'm done drinking."   
Following her up the stairs, Clark caught the bottle deftly and deposited it on a landing before continuing up after his partner.   
After what seemed an eternity of stairs and turns, Lois finally was able to open the door to the roof and stomp out into the night air. The cold, coupled with the darkness and her deeper misery, led Lois to the conclusion that her fuzzy head was clearing up, which could only be a good thing. She walked over to the edge and looked out.   
Metropolis was beautiful by night. Lois had known this even before the alcohol had taken effect. If Superman had had the guts to take her up on her offer, she could be out there flying among the twinkling city lights right now. But no, he wouldn't do that, would he? That would be too logical for a dumb alien to comprehend.   
Feeling angry and hurt, Lois climbed up on the balcony, holding her arms out for balance. It was then that she noticed the Farmboy standing next to her, looking as if he wanted to pull her back.   
"Go away, Farmboy, I don't want you here."   
A flash of hurt darted across his face. Good, now he knew what it was like. "It's not safe for you up there, Lois." He always spoke in such a reasonable tone, what was up with that?   
"I'm safe enough", she muttered in reply, walking along, "I'm more indestructible than Superman. I survived what Lex and he and you did to me, after all. You know", she was thinking aloud now, but didn't care, "I really meant it when I said I loved him, Clark. I would love him even if he was human." Somehow she heard Clark's almost inaudible snort of disbelief. "You don't believe me", the words were small and full of pain. "It's the human part of him I loved. I loved the way he believes in those strict morals of his, his stupid boy scout attitude and the way he always looked out for me."   
Lois turned away from Clark and breathed out to the city below, "I loved him the way I love you."   
She spun around suddenly and grinned at Clark. "Hey Clark", she said, almost bouncing in her excitement and sounding very drunk, "I'm Superman." She spun around again and nearly lost her balance. When she recovered she stood stock still, assuming a classic Superman pose, arms crossed over her chest, with a Lois pout for dramatic flare. "Watch me fly away from all my troubles", she grinned at him and stepped backwards off the balcony.   
The alcohol leeched away almost immediately and she came to her senses as the wind whipped her hair around her face. But by then it was too late. She looked up to see Clark jump off the balcony after her.   
"Why?" she whispered in a moment that lasted forever as she realised that Clark would also fall to his death here. She wanted to call for Superman, but something held her back.   
"I love you", Clark whispered as he held her hands in his and gently flew the two of them back to her room. 


	2. Lying Flesson

_Author's Notes: This was written in response to a one-hour challenge: "One of your 'Couple' gets dead drunk, thinks they are Superman and attempts to fly off a five story building!" So, I was challenged to do this challenge. And even as I wrote "Flying Lesson", I realised that it really wasn't the best way to have approached the situation. So, as I put together the finishing touches on that one, this story was developing itself as well. These two are sort of companion fics, that is, they should probably sit next to one another in the archives but they aren't really related. They aren't sequels and they're not really a series, they are just two stories that jumped onto the paper from my brain._

**Lying Flesson**

Clark Kent was depressed. Truly, deeply, spiritually depressed. He couldn't believe how miserable he was. Normally he would have flown off to a nice remote location and screamed out his frustration long before things seemed this bad, but today he simply hadn't gotten the chance. After their conversation in Centennial Park, Lois had driven him home and as he had walked up to his apartment his misery had increased to the point that he now had difficulty finding the will to operate the remote control. So he was lying on his couch, currently watching as a buxom brunette was giving him instructions on how to contact 'her' on a particular party line number. With a winning smile she finished up: "Call me."   
There were a million things he could think of doing that would be more exciting than calling her, if only he could be bothered doing them. Like calling Lois and telling her the truth: that he really did love her and wished he had never retracted his declaration of love. Or flying over to Lois' place and checking to see that she was coping from her ordeal of a wedding. Or going to see Lois and telling her that he was sorry for the hurtful things he had said to her in the guise of Superman.   
But he couldn't. It wasn't fair to him, but he wasn't going to go and mess Lois around anymore. She'd been through enough in the past week; she needed him as a friend right now more than anything else. So he was sitting at home, miserable, and missing his partner more than he thought possible.   
Clark sighed, forcing himself to his feet and going in search of some form of comfort food. Although he knew that he'd already eaten the chocolate icecream that he kept in stock for Lois, as well as the rest of his mum's most recent batch of cookies, and indeed every other item of junk food in his apartment, Clark found himself dismally hoping that a block of chocolate or equivalent had mysteriously materialised in his larder.   
But the cupboard was bare and the fridge too healthy and Clark sighed despondently before spying the bottle of champagne he had been given to celebrate the resurrection of the Daily Planet sitting alone on his counter.   
Clark had always avoided alcohol before, not sure how it would affect his Kryptonian physiology, but right now it seemed like a really good idea, and champagne wasn't really that alcoholic, was it?   
A quick gust of freezing breath chilled it nicely, and Clark shrugged before opening the bottle with a loud popping sound. Morosely, he thought over the irony of drinking champagne alone: a drink usually reserved for couples and celebrations. Well, he was celebrating. Celebrating the return of his friendship with Lois Lane, his fiery beauty whose quick mind and fierce spirit had captured his heart before he even knew her name.   
He poured himself a glass, and took a moment to sniff at the unfamiliar beverage, amused at how the bubbles tickled his nose. He sipped at it and found himself amazed at the soft taste of the drink. He'd expected something different, to be sure. But still.   
Clark drained the glass quickly, taking the bottle in one hand and planting himself down in front of the television. He drank a few more glasses before seriously settling down to surf the box. But he had an unfortunate advantage over most channel surfers: in that he could flick between channels much faster than any normal human. In a matter of seconds Clark had discerned that there really was nothing on that he wanted to watch, and he sighed loudly in frustration before pouring himself another drink. Thinking a moment, he raised the glass in the air and smiled.   
"To Lois Lane", he began, trying to think of an appropriate toast, "for loving me like a brother." Choking back a sudden sob, Clark downed the glass of alcohol, and ensured it was followed quickly by another the same size.   
Unfortunately by then the bottle was empty, and Clark wasn't really feeling any different from what he'd been like before he started drinking. Maybe it just took more of the stuff for someone from Krypton to get drunk. He had a bottle of vodka in the display cabinet: someone had given it to him for a Christmas present the year before, that might help establish a pleasant buzz in his brain.   
Clark fetched the bottle, together with some orange juice from the fridge, and mixed himself up a drink. The vodka was bitter and made the orange juice taste strange, but it definitely smelt stronger than the champagne had.   
Watching an old black and white romance on television, Clark was more than moderately surprised when he thought he heard someone knocking on his door, and even more surprised when he couldn't seem to focus his eyes enough to discern who was standing on the other side.   
Willing his feet to obey him, Clark set aside the now-lighter bottle of vodka on the coffee table before walking to the door. He opened it, amazed at how the floor seemed to be spinning around him, then looked up in surprise as Lois pushed past him, a yummy-smelling pizza in her hands.   
"I was sitting at home all alone and I couldn't help but miss my best friend so I thought I'd come over and I brought pizza since I didn't know if you'd eaten and –" Lois broke off mid-babble to stare hard at Clark's happily bemused smile. "Are you alright?"   
"I'm gummy bears", Clark said while grinning (all the while believing that in truth he'd said "I'm fine thanks").   
Lois put the pizza down on the coffee table, noticing the vodka bottle as she did so. "Have you been drinking?" she asked in a puzzled voice, suddenly worried.   
"Just a little", Clark answered, nodding enthusiastically.   
"Why?" Some dark part of Clark's mind remembered that Lois' mother had been an alcoholic and that Lois usually avoided anything with alcohol in it. He suddenly felt a little worried, but the moment passed as he remembered that he had to answer Lois' question.   
"Because I love you."   
Lois' eyes opened wide and she seemed suddenly almost afraid of him. "You what?"   
"I love you, Lois Lane", Clark said, sitting down enthusiastically on the couch next to her. Although he was tempted to put his arms around Lois and kiss her, the smell of the pizza was too inviting, so he opened the box and asked if she minded him having a slice. A dazed shake of the head was enough answer for Clark, who promptly wolfed one slice of pepperoni and cheese pizza down like it was the last food on earth.   
Lois, meanwhile, was staring off into space trying to assimilate this information. Firstly, Clark was drunk. Off his face, in fact, or near enough to it. Secondly, he seemed to think he was in love with her. Of course, that was in complete contradiction to what he'd said to her in the park that afternoon. But still, Clark would never lie to her, would he? He was always honest to a fault, and she could only imagine that him getting drunk would emphasize his manners rather than remove them. But he was drinking because he loved her? That didn't make any sense.   
Or did it? If Clark loved Lois, than what he'd said to her in the park that day had been a lie. So, he'd lied to her about lying to her? And he was drinking because he hadn't wanted to tell her his real emotions and it was eating him up inside.   
"Hey Lois", Clark said, grinning at her, "D'ya wanna hear about how I defeated Lex Luthor? It's a great story, but a secret." One finger was held up in front of Clark's lips.   
A sudden wrench of pain in her chest made Lois shake her head. "Maybe later, ok, Clark?" He smiled at her again, in that manner that was so like a puppy dog that Lois almost allowed her heart to soften towards her partner. But no, she thought, not yet.   
Clark was a liar and she hated liars. But still, hadn't she decided just a few days ago that she had some deeply hidden feelings for Clark that deserved some introspective thinking?   
That look of intense concentration on Lois' face made Clark grin, getting up and doing a little dance of pure joy. She didn't seem to notice though, and so while he was waiting for her to pay attention to him again he poured himself another drink. Once he was done gulping the vodka and mixer (he couldn't remember what it was called, but it was orange anyway), Lois looked up, took the glass bottle out of his hand and put it away for him.   
"I think you've had enough for one night", she shook her head in slight disgust. Lois had never figured Clark for a drunk before.   
"So I'm drunk?" He asked happily.   
A puzzled look crossed Lois' face before she answered slightly sarcastically. "Clark, you are smashed off your face." She sat back down on the couch to continue her musing while he danced some more to music only he could hear.   
"Oh good", he grinned and bounced a little, "I've never been drunk before."   
Clark was probably telling the truth, Lois decided. She'd never seen him drink anything before, and his supposed reasons for drinking himself into this state would have tempted even her to lose herself in alcohol.   
But it didn't excuse the fact that Clark was well and truly on his way to a monumental headache tomorrow morning. It was probably a good thing that the new Daily Planet wouldn't be ready for its reporters for another few days yet. Clark would be out of action for most of tomorrow, if Lois hadn't missed her guess.   
Suddenly she looked up, broken out of her reverie by the strange silence that had overtaken Clark's lounge room. He was nowhere to be seen. "Clark?" Lois called his name in worry, wondering where he possibly could have gotten to.   
"I'm out here, Lois-love", the voice came from somewhere outside the apartment. She shook her head at the suffix to her name, feeling a little nauseous.   
Lois walked out onto the fire escape, but once again she couldn't find the elusive drunk Farmboy. A premonition of sorts caused her to look up, and sure enough, there was Clark, hanging off the railing up on the fifth floor of the fire escape. She raced up the stairs and pulled him away from the edge, sudden anger firing her up to new feats of strength.   
"What do you think you're doing?" She demanded, whacking at his arm.   
Clark was suddenly contrite. "I was just thining that it would be nice to go flying with you." His tone was sad and petulant and childlike in an adorable manner that made Lois want to lash out at someone. But instead, a part of her heart softened towards him.   
"I wouldn't mind going flying with you either, Clark", she said, a little sadly, trying not to remember her last conversation with Superman. "But unfortunately, you can't fly without Superman's help."   
"Sure I can, Lois", Clark was beaming at her now, "I'm Superman." He moved towards the railing again and once again Lois had to restrain him.   
As if, Lois thought, before speaking again in that soft voice. "No, Clark, you're just drunk. In the morning you'll remember that you can't fly and you'll be glad that I stopped you from jumping off the building."   
Clark snatched his hand away from Lois, and vaulted the railing easily, to stand, if a little unsteadily, on the thin air in front of Lois. After a moment, Lois stopped screaming and looked at Clark warily, assimilating this new information. He had lied to her, and not just in the park.   
Finally, deciding that there was nothing the situation called for more, Lois reached out to the floating man and slapped him, hard across the face.   
"I hate you", Lois snarled, "you lying… flesson." Somehow an appropriate swearword or adjective had failed to come to Lois' mind clearly and she managed to garble about eighteen words into one that made no sense. Clark was too damn drunk to appreciate it anyway.   
"But I love you", Clark said in that small voice, reaching out to grab her hands and pull her into a close hug, the railing pressing between them. Lois tried to pull away from him but he was simply too strong. Sighing and deciding she was too tired to fight anymore, Lois gave in, allowing him to hold her close.   
"So", Clark said, sounding brighter and still fairly drunk, "Can I take you flying now?" 


End file.
